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Issue 35 - The Weight of Expectations
The 3 Minute Golfer
October 18, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 14 minutes
Welcome
Welcome to issue number 35 of The 3 Minute Golfer. This FREE, weekly publication is here to help every golfer improve their mental game and their personal wellbeing.
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The Weight of Expectations
Expectations…both internal and external…can be a double-edged club in a golfer’s bag.
Let’s be honest…how do you actually feel standing on the first tee? Are you brimming with optimism, imagining a day of fairways and pars, or are you mostly fighting nerves, heart thumping as you wonder if you’ll hook it straight into the trees? Maybe you’re carrying the hopes of your friends, a small wager, or just the expectation of not embarrassing yourself in front of onlookers. Either way, those expectations tend to give your opening shot more weight than it probably deserves.
The reality is that nearly all competitive and social golfers aim to play well right from the first tee, fully aware of both the outside pressure and their own expectations because it’s a sensation they have experienced many times before.
External expectations from playing partners, your coach, or the local club crowd act like a spotlight. They magnify every minor mistake and double your awareness of faults. That extra self-consciousness can literally shift your focus from the shot you intend to execute, to the mistake you fear.
Now pair that with your internal expectations of hitting every fairway and one putting. When your inner voice is setting high expectations, it’s harder to switch into flow. Those internal expectations tend to come with judgment…“I’m messing up”…which converts anxiety into overthinking, tension, and ultimately poorer swings. It’s like your mind is both coach and critic, and the critic often wins.
Different People, Different Situations, Different Expectations
On competition days, expectations scream louder. The stakes feel higher, the consequences more real. Data supports this for professional golfers who tend to underperform when more money or prestige is on the line. But even in a friendly round, external and internal expectations lurk. So, why do some players flourish under pressure and others wilt? (Hickman, D.C and Metz, N.E., 2015)
Experience and Habituation…Seasoned competitors tend to be more familiar with pressure and have more experiences handling the expectations. (Hickman, D.C and Metz, N.E., 2015)
Perfectionism and Fear of Failure…Those high on perfectionism tend to catastrophise mistakes and feel more intense pressure, especially on precise shots like putting. (Chambers, T.P. and Marshall, D.V.J, 2017)
Self-efficacy and Mental Toughness…If you strongly believe you can deliver and have resilience when things go off course, you’ll be less derailed. (Reyes-Bossio M., et al, 2022)
Personality Differences…Some people appraise pressure as an exciting challenge rather than threatening. Others lean toward anxiety. (Ayranci, M. and Aydin, M. K., 2025)
Attentional Control and Focus…Under expectations, some people over-monitor their movements…thinking about the mechanics, while others let automatic motor patterns run free. The former tend to fail more.
So, two golfers could step up to the same shot and have entirely different internal movies playing during their backswing.
Pro Tips…Meeting the Expectations
Know Your Flow State…We have discussed in previous newsletters how performance improves with growing arousal or stress but only up to a point, then it declines if pressure becomes too intense. So, a bit of expectation or healthy tension can sharpen your focus, but too much expectation can lead to anxiety and compromised execution. The secret of meeting expectations is to know your arousal sweet spot and develop techniques that spark you up if you’re low and bring you back when over-aroused.
Quiet Eye…One technique with some empirical support is quiet eye training. This is about training your gaze to maintain a steady focus on the target or a reference point during that critical moment before executing. Studies have shown it can help reduce anxiety and improve putting performance under pressure. (He, Q. et. al., 2024)
A Pre-shot Routine…Building a consistent pre-shot routine, with a fixed sequence of steps before every shot gives the mind something “safe” to do that anchors attention and muffles intrusive expectations. Many sports psychology interventions emphasise routines, imagery, and structured self-talk. (Reyes-Bossio M., et al, 2022)
Reframing Expectations…Developing a technique of shifting from outcome-based expectations…“I expect to shoot 72”…to process-based expectations, like expecting to commit fully to each swing, expecting to follow your pre-shot process, and an expectation to recover well when you make a mistake. The process becomes controllable, and the outcome becomes a byproduct. This reframing reduces anxiety because you're not trying to control the uncontrollable…wind gusts, pin locations, putting breaks. Many mental trainers stress this as a foundational strategy.
Self-Compassion…Instead of piling harsh expectations, adopt kind high standards. In other words, you still expect performance, but you allow for human foibles. When a shot goes bad, respond internally with “that’s okay, now refocus” rather than “you idiot, how could you miss that?” The softer internal voice attenuates the downward spiral of frustration, tension, and tightening. This ties into research on well-being and positive psychology…athletes who experience pleasant emotions and self-acceptance tend to maintain better performance under stress. (Peris-Delcampo, D. et. al., 2024)
Mental Rehearsal…Before you even play, run mental movies…imagine pressure situations like a tricky par putt, a windy tee shot, and walk through your calm, composed execution. By exposing your mind to such “mini pressures” in rehearsal, the real ones feel less alien. Combine that with imagery and positive self-talk to strengthen the thought that you can perform under pressure.
Anchor…Block expectations by focusing on something else, like your breathing pattern or your grip and anchor on that point. Anchoring cues, like feeling the texture of your glove, or noticing a speck of rust on your club can break mental loops of expectation and bring you back to the shot in front of you.
Post-shot Detachment…Even with the best techniques, you're going to mess up shots. What matters is how you respond. If your internal expectation punishes you with “terrible, you ruined everything” then that will degrade your next shot. So, it’s best to have a short post-shot ritual to rinse, release and reset. It could be a gesture a phrase, or a few deep breaths. Either way, learn to let go of the last shot before the next one. This prevents cumulative pressure from spiralling.
Embrace Expectations…Expectations can invite tension, but they can also help you identify what you care about and want to improve. The trick is not to kill expectations, but to manage how you relate to them. Some people need more buffer zones…softer goals, more forgiveness, while others thrive under the spotlight. The best approach is to experiment to find what combination of techniques helps your brain handle pressure the best.Let your expectations sharpen your focus, not crush your swing.