Welcome

Welcome to issue number 34 of The 3 Minute Golfer. This FREE, weekly publication is here to help every golfer improve their mental game and their personal wellbeing.

This is number three in a series of 5 newsletters where The 3 Minute Golfer explores and analyses the observable psychological impact of different golf scenarios, using case studies where possible.

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In this issue:

• The Personality Clash

• Wellness Tip – Skin Care

• Mental Demons Q+A

• In Person Events - Book The 3 Minute Golfer

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The Personality Clash

Picture this…it's Saturday morning, birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and you're teeing up at your favourite golf course. Life is good, until you see your assigned golf partner walk up. Yes, it's that guy…the one whose mere presence makes you reconsider the virtues of pacifism or possibly faking a knee injury. You're in for 18 holes with someone whose personality clashes with yours like fireworks in a library.

According to psychologists, personality clashes happen most often when two people have opposing personality traits. (Carver & Scheier, 2017). On the golf course, these differences can feel magnified. Suddenly, your partner's tendency to narrate every swing, snack loudly, or quote motivational posters out loud becomes your personal descent into madness.

Famous personality clashes on the course include Woods and Garcia, Koepka and DeChambeau, McIlroy and Reed, Norman and the PGA Tour. The fact is, personalities do clash, sometimes for the simplest of reasons…the way a person speaks, eats, dresses, their speed of play, excessive green reading, you get the picture.

But fear not. Just because you're stuck with your nemesis for the next four or five hours doesn't mean you have to suffer…there are proven strategies to manage personality clashes and maintain your sanity.

Strategies to Lower Your Blood Pressure

Pretend It's a Podcast…Your partner won’t stop talking. Ever. About their swing, their crypto portfolio, or how their cousin once caddied for Phil Mickelson’s chiropractor. Here's the trick…stop fighting it. Just nod occasionally and pretend you're listening to a true crime podcast narrated by an overly confident dad. Smile and toss in a "wow" or “that’s wild” every few minutes. Suddenly, you're no longer annoyed…you're entertained. Kind of.

Use the Power of Strategic Earbuds…This only works if you're subtle. Pop in one wireless earbud under your hat and pipe in some soothing background noise. Nothing says “coping mechanism” like listening to your favourite music while your partner lectures you on their "revolutionary" swing method they recently gleaned from YouTube. Bonus…it also helps drown out the sound of your inner scream.

Pretend You're at Work…Research shows that reframing situations can reduce conflict and stress (Gross & John, 2003). Instead of focusing on your partner’s flaws, treat this like a corporate training exercise where you're learning patience, developing emotional intelligence and role-playing at being a tolerant person. 

Create a Secret Game…Turn the situation into a fun challenge by making up a silent game. Tally how many times your partner mentions their best golf moments over the past 10 years. Set milestones and allocate a point for every time they mention previous glory or misadventure. At 10 points, you reward yourself, at 30, it’s time to seek therapy.

Find Common Ground…Shared enemies bring people together. Don’t try to bond over life philosophies or sports teams. Instead, unite over mutual grievances…the slow foursome ahead, divots on the fairway, or the state of the greens. Nothing builds fragile alliances faster than joint outrage.

Fake a Phone Call (Once)…This is your emergency ripcord. You get one, and only one, fake urgent call during the round. Use it wisely. Maybe you need to “check in on the plumber,” or “handle a surprise work call.” You don’t leave the course, but you have five peaceful minutes of solo serenity. You’ll come back refreshed and marginally less homicidal.

Remember, It’s Not a Lifetime Sentence…The beauty of golf is that no round lasts forever. In the grand scheme, four hours of awkward conversation and passive-aggressive club suggestions is survivable. And when it’s over, you’ll have a story to tell. After all, golf isn’t just about the score…it’s about managing frustration and other personalities.

See the References Here.