Welcome

Welcome to issue number 21 of The 3 Minute Golfer. This FREE, weekly publication is here to help every golfer improve their mental game and their personal wellbeing.

In this issue we take a break from the mental styles to explore the psychological value of rapidly accepting a bad shot.

In this issue:

• Accept The Bad Shots Quickly

• Wellness Tip – One Week Without Fast Foods

• Mental Demons Q+A

• In Person Events - Book The 3 Minute Golfer

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Accept The Bad Shots Quickly

Ever found yourself still mourning a disastrous shot from three holes ago? Welcome to the existential crisis that is golf, where your greatest mental skill isn’t mastering a positive attitude but forgetting your mistakes faster than the ball forgets its intended direction.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief aren’t just for life-altering catastrophes…they’re shockingly apt for those “what just happened?” moments on the course. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance are all part of the emotional journey that comes with hitting a bad shot. And let’s face it, zooming through these stages to reach Acceptance is the ultimate hole-in-one for your mental game.

Lingering in the other four stages is problematic and never part of the solution because they are mental states that will definitely stall recovery. Embracing acceptance of your error promptly allows you to release any negative emotions and calmly focus on your next shot, without any relapse back to the grief you previously felt about that catastrophic mistake you recently made.

In a life and death event, the speed of moving to acceptance may take days, weeks, months and years. In golf, the whole process has to happen in seconds and minutes.

Denial…kicks off the shenanigans as you refuse to accept reality. You stand frozen, staring at your ball flying into the rough as if it might magically teleport back to the fairway. “That didn’t just happen,” you mumble, checking your club, the wind, the grass…everything but your execution. Sorry, but the ball isn’t coming back. Denial gives you a second to process the disaster but linger too long and you will significantly hinder your chance of producing a better next shot. To move forward, it's essential to acknowledge the mistake quickly and get back to the job at hand. 

Anger…follows denial and is a powerful emotional response to the perceived injustice you just suffered. In golf, anger manifests in cursing, throwing clubs, blaming others, and muttering something about how the course designer clearly hates humanity. While venting your anger might feel cathartic, remember golf requires a level of finesse that is not helped by rage. The trick is to release your anger quickly because, as they say (whoever “they” are), you’re only one great shot away from forgetting the last ten bad ones. Prolonged anger clouds judgment and disrupts your focus. And, according to Bushman (2002), venting anger can sometimes exacerbate aggression rather than alleviate it. So, recognising and managing your anger swiftly can prevent it from sabotaging your next shot or your whole round. 

Bargaining…is the stage where you attempt to mentally negotiate a way out of your predicament. Promising yourself to make all sorts of life changes if the golf gods will only help you fix your error…"If this next shot lands on the green, I promise I’ll donate to the golf club’s charity event every year.” While bargaining reflects a desire to regain control, it can distract from embracing the reality of your situation and stop you concentrating on the technique required to successfully complete your next shot. 

Depression…is the stage after bargaining doesn’t work where the reality of your triple bogey sinks in. This is the moment you contemplate the meaning of life and wonder why you ever thought hitting a tiny ball into a tiny hole was a good idea. This stage is marked by a sense of hopelessness and dejection that can be debilitating on a golf course, if you can’t snap out of the feeling quickly. Emmons and McCullough (2003) suggest that focusing on positive experiences, like reflecting on past successes, enjoying the beauty of the course, and acknowledging the effort you’ve put into your practice will help you move swiftly past your current failure. It’s important to remember that everyone hits rough patches in a game, not just you.

Acceptance…is the final stage where you come to terms with the reality of your situation. In golf, acceptance means acknowledging the bad shot and understanding that it’s just part of the game. Golfers who move rapidly through the first four stages and reach acceptance the quickest are better equipped to recover and perform well on subsequent shots. Acceptance clears your mind and calms your nervous system. So, next time you hit a spectacularly bad shot, speed through your denial, rage, negative inner dialogue, sulking, and praying and land in acceptance at speed. The quicker you get there, the better it will be, for your game and everyone.

So, next time you hit a spectacularly bad shot, speed through your denial, rage, negative inner dialogue, sulking, and praying and land at acceptance with speed.

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