Welcome

Welcome to issue number 16 of The 3 Minute Golfer. This FREE, weekly publication is here to help every golfer improve their mental game and their personal wellbeing.

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In this issue:

• Grumpy…Getting to Acceptance Quickly

• Wellness Tip – Embedding Healthy Habits

• Mental Demons Q+A

• In Person Events - Book The 3 Minute Golfer

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Grumpy…Getting to Acceptance Quickly

Let’s face it, all golfers have crossed paths with that one friend…or maybe it’s you…who just can’t find anything to be happy about on the course. The shot’s too short, the wind’s too strong, the cup is placed unfairly…because gravity is apparently out to get them. This is the player who strides the course with a Grumpy mental style. The golfer who is never satisfied, perpetually frustrated, and not afraid to let the entire group…and possibly the entire course know.

Yet beneath the endless grumbling and the flailing club rests a paradoxical truth…Grumpy actually loves the game. They keep coming back, no matter how many times they vow “never again!” This issue explores the mindset of that wonderfully complicated soul who uses golf as a place to vent about everything from a missed putt to the injustices of life.

Meet Grumpy 

Players with the Grumpy mental style are usually easy to spot. They might start with a decent drive, but the second shot goes slightly left… and we’ve got a meltdown on our hands. The problem? Well, it could be the equipment, the weather, or “the golf gods” conspiring. Whatever the reason, rest assured, it’s definitely not their fault…just ask them.

But, despite the grumbling, Grumpy is a dedicated golfer. They show up early, meticulously clean their clubs, and then whine about the location of the golf course as if it teleported during the week. They’re passionate about the game…they’re just not on speaking terms with their own performance.

From a psychological standpoint, complaining…and yes, even that dramatic eye roll…can be a coping mechanism for stress. When shots don’t go as planned, the quick temper or negative outburst acts as a release valve. It’s easier to attribute blame to external causes than to internalise the failure and move on (more on Attribution in future issues). In many ways, being a Grumpy golfer offers a bit of mental protection because, if it is always an external factor at fault…no need to feel the heavy weight of self-responsibility.

Venting for Release

Negative Self-Talk and Confirmation Bias…Grumpy’s negative self-talk like “I always miss these putts” can reinforce in their fixed mindset to expect bad outcomes (Dweck, 2006). When it happens, it confirms their suspicions…“See, I told you I’d slice the ball.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that, ironically, keeps Grumpy locked into a negative cycle.

The Venting Effect…Complaining might feel good for a moment because it provides temporary relief. Psychologists call this the “venting effect” (Bushman, 2002). The problem is that repeated venting tends to escalate anger instead of resolving it, so Grumpy ends up more agitated, not less.

Hidden Fear of Failure…For many golfers, negativity is a shield for fear of failure. If you claim the course is “unplayable,” then it’s not really your skill that’s lacking, right? By focusing on everything that’s “wrong” out there, the Grumpy mind sidesteps the vulnerability that comes from recognising a missed shot might simply be operator error.

Pro Tips for Turning Gripes Into Gains

Enough with the psychoanalysis. If you have a predominantly Grumpy mental style, then letting loose a well-timed grunt might be cathartic but consistently negative chatter can sabotage performance and your enjoyment of the game. Here are a few practical ways to keep the griping in check.

Focus on the Next Shot…Golf is a game of many small battles. Renowned sports psychologist Dr. Bob Rotella often says, “Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more than it is a game of your perfect shots.” After a bad shot, keep your mind on the next shot. If you’re still stewing over a sliced drive when you should be hitting your approach shot, you’re basically handing negativity a VIP pass to your mental state. So, give yourself a “five-second rule.” After a bad shot allow five seconds of frustration, then switch your attention back to your target. It might seem silly at first, but it’s a quick mental reset.

Reduce The Tension…Golf is both physical and mental. Too much adrenaline can cause tension in your swing (Hanin, 2000). The Grumpy mental style typically runs on high octane…with heart pounding, teeth clenched, ready to blame the wind for everything. That tension often translates into a jerky swing and more mistakes. If this is you, then do a quick body scan before each shot. If you notice your shoulders creeping up to your ears or your grip turning your knuckles white, practice slow, controlled breathing…inhale for four counts, exhale for four counts. Calm your body, calm your mind.

Manage Your Internal Dialogue…Self-talk, negative or positive, definitely impacts performance (Hardy, Oliver, & Tod, 2009). The constant grumbling in your head influences how your body responds. Try to shift from complaining about the past shot to describing what you want to achieve on the next one. Replace “Here we go again, I’ll blow this approach” with “Focus on smooth contact and follow through.” Even if you don’t fully believe it the first few times, it sets a more positive intention.

Be Thankful…I know, I know, if you are the Grumpy type, you probably just rolled your eyes at this suggestion. But think about it…you’re outdoors, you’re not at work, and you have time to chase a little white ball around with your friends. That’s not half bad. Research shows that being thankful for what you have can quickly reduce stress and negative emotions (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Before you tee off, list three things you’re thankful for when on the course. It may feel silly, but it’s a simple way to reframe your mindset.

Look On the Bright Side…If you have a Grumpy mental style, and can always find something to complain about, then the grass will never be green enough and your putts will never drop often enough. But be consoled by the fact that frustration is part of the golfing journey…it’s practically woven into the fabric of the game, so it doesn’t have to dominate your mental real estate. The next time you find yourself audibly groaning, remember that golf is hard enough without a chorus of complaints echoing in your head. A little optimism, or at least calm objectivity, can go a long way to improving your scorecard and your sanity.

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